The 3 Most Effective Tools for Peaceful HOA Relationships

Sometimes HOA meetings can feel more like a verbal boxing match than a meeting of like minds…..

But peaceful relationships and meetings – even with difficult people – are possible. With the right tools, you can navigate the waters of those oftentimes tricky situations and relationships.

What are the most effective tools for peaceful HOA Relationships? They are already at your disposal: 

• Focus on the positive – and the productive.

It’s often easy for us to remember the negatives rather than the good stuff. (People can be perfectly kind to you all day, and one rude comment from, say, the person in line in front of you at the bank can sour an afternoon.) Odds are that the vast majority of your homeowners association members are friendly and reasonable – or, at the very least, non-combative. Remember to focus on those folks who offer support and helpful solutions. Remember, too, not to dwell on the contentious meetings, but the productive ones in which progress and community-building happen.

• Welcome constructive conflict.

We’ve talked in a previous post about the many ways that conflict can be constructive and beneficial for homeowners and board members alike. One of them is that healthy conflict can lead to new ideas and greater progress within your association and prevent an “echo chamber” mentality. Remember that most of the time, a person’s disagreement with you is likely not with you as a person – and that his or her input should be valued as a fellow homeowner. (Of course, your HOA board should never tolerate name-calling, obscenities, or aggression, so if a person goes that route, the board should make it clear such behavior is unacceptable and won’t be tolerated.)

• Listen first, ask questions later:

Stephen R. Covey, bestselling author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, said, “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” It’s uncomfortable but true – how many times have you been confronted by someone at a board meeting (or at home, work, etc.) and been formulating a response in your mind before the other person is finished speaking? In order to show someone that you’re interested in his or her point of view – even if you disagree, and even if that person is being rude – listen first. giving them your undivided attention. You can follow-up with questions and counterpoints after you’ve show them the respect of truly listening.